I cannot tell you how I feel. I cannot share the vastness of my insecurities or the bounds of my strength. When I try the words stumble feebly from my mouth, and I appear but a fool. Why do I have the capacity to feel so much and the ability to express so little?
I want to touch the hand that you are reaching out to me. I want you to embrace my fears with the warmth of your love until I am whole again and free from guilt, but I am too afraid of your rejection, so fearful of the pain of separation.
I thank you for the gift of my children, and that tender way in which I can now love and care for them. I can forgive them for all their failings, but I cannot forgive myself for mine. I will mourn the passing of their childhood years and the beauty of their innocence. We think we have so much to teach them, but it is we who have so much to learn. Please let me share, but a morsel of their freedom.